Hello? Yes, okay, hi. I’d like to talk to the Government, please. Yeah, sure I’ll hold.The government can fix this, right?

Hi. Is this The Government?

Okay! Awesome. Yeah I’ve been trying to reach you guys. I was watching the news and I heard that you might be able to help me. What’s that? No, you were just in the phone book. I know, right? Yeah, first number I called. Guess I’m lucky.

Anyway, I need to report some possible terrorism. Yes. Uh-huh. Yes. Well, I’m not sure, entirely. That’s why I said “possible.” Of course, I have tons of evidence, but the problem it it’s all in my phone. Yes, that’s right. Well, I saw on the news that you guys are trying to like, get into a guy’s iPhone because you thought a terrorist has some stuff in there? So it’s like that. Yes. I think there might be some terrorism in my iPhone.

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