How are you guys? I’m doing great! You know, this is the best I’ve felt in a long time, and it’s all thanks to the newest and greatest mobile app sensation that’s taking the world by storm: Pokemon Go!
Look, this game is really freaking addictive, all right? Have you not checked out Pokemon Go yet? It’s really cool. So you walk around and look at stuff through your phone, and then your phone puts little monster things everywhere, and then you catch them with your phone, but it’s not like, in the game… you actually have to go in real like where all the Pokemon are. So, there can be a Caterpie on that table right there, and now I’m gonna catch it with this virtual ball thing and—no, look, I’m not looking at you, I’m looking at the fake caterpillar in front of you. Don’t make this weird.
Final Fantasy VII is one of the best and most memorable video games ever. It’s about a former soldier who is lost in his own world trying to piece together a future he didn’t mean to be a part of, while leading a weird band of powerful but conflicted characters. The main story is that wealthy scientists discover an alien artifact, and use it to create a new artificial life form, which immediately goes crazy, and decides to “save” the world by killing humanity with a giant meteor. He also calls everyone puppets. A nice but underdeveloped female character is impaled by the bad guy as she is trying to perform a procedure to create the one thing that can defeat him. Later, they all get on their airship to go find magical colored rocks. I am worried that cosplay from this thing will annoy me for ten years.