Drinks Are On Me

Hi, can I talk about this water jug? Kind of a big deal. See, this jug here is worth 344 dollars. At least.

The dead rat really adds to the texture.There’s this guy out in California, a health guru named Mukhande Singh. And he’s a founder of an amazing new industry out there called “raw water.”

I know, that’s what I thought too—turns out the water you’ve been drinking your whole life isn’t actually raw! I have been told that it’s full of chemicals, like disinfectants, and something called “fluoride.” Apparently, a lot of municipal water is even bombarded with ultraviolet light—which is a thing that sounds scary—with the claim that doing this “protects the water” from “growing algae” and “spreading brain parasites.”

Now for the first thing: algae? Here I was being told we’re supposed to have more plants in our diet. On top of that—algae is growing? That means life is teeming in natural, raw water. Filtering and chemically treating water means it’s dead. Who eats dead things?

I’ve already forgotten what the second thing was. Brain something.

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