I was talking with someone the other day about doing an honest assessment of Trump as President and the question came up “is there literally anything you can say that was good about him?” I realize to most of us here that’s rhetorical, but I figured it was worth examining, and so I thought about it and I came up with three things. Maybe you’ll agree with them, maybe you won’t, but on this, his final day in office, here are what I feel are the honest to god, 100% serious, three most positive things I can say about the presidency of Donald Trump:
I have lived my entire life in a media narrative that Republicans are simply not supposed to face any consequences for their actions and what we have been witnessing for the last 48 hours is the result of a media completely unequipped to handle exactly that happening. I think that’s why there’s such a cognitive dissonance between how punditry is reacting to this versus, well, basically the rest of the planet. People are done. They are fucking done with this bullshit.
As you know, Georgians are facing a very important election in just a few days. There’s no shortage of vital topics to consider as you cast your ballot, but I’d like to speak to you about a very serious, albeit overlooked one.
As we approach Election Day, many voters are scared. Scared about the welfare and wellbeing of their loved ones. For many, it’s the tumultuous job market and soaring housing prices. For others, it’s something even more threatening: access to potentially life-saving healthcare. But as a member of the performing arts community, and as such one who is involved with the local television production industry, I’d like to address an even more serious threat facing voters like me. Even more dangerous than the job market, and yes, even more directly life-threatening than losing health insurance. I’m talking, of course, about the epidemic of being accidentally shot by Georgia Secretary of State Brian Kemp.
In the graphic novel Kingdom Come, DC Comics imagined a future where Superman gave up. The world had grown, and adapted to a meaner, more violent culture that found the truth-and-justice morality of America’s first great superhero to be insufficient to handle the daily crises facing the world. As Superman entered self-imposed exile, the world turned to Magog, a hero of the latest generation who was willing to go to further extremes to fight crime and stop supervillains, including killing them. Magog’s rampant acceptance of collateral damage and lack of checks or balances on his power culminates in an overkill assault that destroys the American Midwest, killing millions.
In 2004, I moved to Washington, DC to start a new career in politics. I joined up as a web editor at a nonprofit called the Center for American Progress. CAP was, and still is, an amazing organization that is dedicated to pushing progressive and liberal policy ideas. They are a left-leaning think tank inside a city that spent most of the 80’s and 90’s having only right-wing ones. Their work was and remains important and necessary. Also, the organization was entirely dedicated to getting Hillary Clinton elected president.
Oh hi. I didn’t notice you there. I was just distracted by a complete stranger having the wrong opinions on the internet.
You know, as a straight, white, financially stable Christian male, arguing online can encompass a significant portion of my day. And if you’re anything like me, let me tell you—congratulations on being a white dude. Turns out it’s awesome. But also if you’re like me, you’ve wondered to yourself “my god, how can I keep up with internet trends? There are so many people I have to pointlessly troll in defense of all my rights I think they, personally, are trying to take away. There’s got to be a better way!”
Well, I’m happy (and by that I mean as happy as a person culturally and societally dispositioned to be in a constant state of outrage can be) to say there now is.
Good evening, America, on this pivotal Election Night. It is 9:00 PM on the East Coast, 6:00 on the West Coast. Polls have closed in New York, Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Louisiana. A giant spider has attached itself to the front of my head.
A little voice in the back of my head is screaming oh Jesus Christ, August, no, you’re blogging about politics. This is the abyss. You brought this on yourself; just remember that. The next sentence of this post is supposed to be the usual “…but I was just as shocked as everyone last night to hear that Eric Cantor lost his primary against, well, some dude who reads Ayn Rand a lot and promised to do even less in government than the guy he just defeated, who I will remind you, was actually the person in charge of orchestrating the House’s agenda of not doing anything.”
Except a reader reminded me of a cartoon I drew seven (yes, seven, good god) years ago, alerting me that I had sort of been predicting this all along: