A little voice in the back of my head is screaming oh Jesus Christ, August, no, you’re blogging about politics. This is the abyss. You brought this on yourself; just remember that. The next sentence of this post is supposed to be the usual “…but I was just as shocked as everyone last night to hear that Eric Cantor lost his primary against, well, some dude who reads Ayn Rand a lot and promised to do even less in government than the guy he just defeated, who I will remind you, was actually the person in charge of orchestrating the House’s agenda of not doing anything.”
Except a reader reminded me of a cartoon I drew seven (yes, seven, good god) years ago, alerting me that I had sort of been predicting this all along:
Hi everyone. Did you all have a good Christmas? I had a great Christmas. I spent a lot of time thinking about Jesus and I’d like to share what I’ve learned with all of you.
Oh no. I just thought about this too.
I was watching Mickey’s Christmas Carol. I love Mickey’s Christmas Carol. If you forgot it or haven’t seen it, it’s Mickey as Bob Cratchit and Uncle Scrooge McDuck as, well, you know… as Scrooge. Pretty basic- Christmas Carol in the Donald Duck universe.
But here’s the thing- there’s a LOT of stuff that’s “Christmas set in the so and so universe.” And this is where I uncovered something that threatens our very moral fiber.
See, even if Christmas is just a cultural or family event to you—and that’s what it is to me—you still have to acknowledge that Christmas is related to, well, to Jesus. And that’s where I have a serious issue-not a religious one, but an honest, logical crisis of theology. Basically, Christmas specials are all your favorite cartoon characters suddenly knowing who Jesus is. And this makes no sense whatsoever.